It is an old saying that confession cleanses the soul and the person becomes free of guilt, this further proves that person who did the wrong is now repenting. But it is very difficult to ascertain that the person is really repenting or simply trying to cover his infidelity. It is also true that it is very difficult to decide that the person who did wrong should be forgiven and what is the parameter of your judgment.
1) The main consideration is to know the reasons why the person confessed? This can be the biggest parameter to judge, that the person who has done wrong should be forgiven or not. The reason could be that he might have thought that you will be able to catch him soon, or could be he has honestly starting loving you.
If the reason is the first one then the person is not worth forgiving, he has confessed only because of the fear of being caught. He will continue to do this in future also as he wants a temporary peace. It is a simple manipulation and is pretending to be sorry about his affairs; in heart of hearts he is not feeling guilty of cheating you.
You must have patience to listen to his confession and make your own judgment weather he is telling truth or not and understand his motives of confession.
2) Next is he really serious about his attitude? This is another most important factor; a person who is not serious and does not put efforts to rebuild his relation is again not worth trust and cannot be forgiven. It does not mean that you play your own role seriously and he continues to do what he wants.
In such circumstances your forgiving him time and again and he does not want to change does not make any sense. You should forgive him only if he is serious about changing his attitude, he has to work seriously to build trust once again.
3) Is he really willing to change? Since you had lot of trust in him and your trust in him has suffered a setback due to his actions and has indulged in infidelity. Your man whom you had full faith will have to run an extra mile to undo the damage he has caused to the relationship.
His responsibility increases and he has to do more to develop the trust again. He has to sacrifice a lot to win back that trust and love which has shattered. If he is not ready to do all this, then forgiving him would be a big mistake.
4) The most important factor is that are you ready to forgive him? This is the biggest parameter, you must have a lot of strength to forgive him and you must be mentally prepared for it. This is very important as this will give him another opportunity to prove his loyalty towards you.
If you have a mental block and are not ready to forgive him then his infidelity is totally unforgivable so far you are concerned, and does not matter what he does, you will simply nor forgive him.
On the contrary if you forgive him regularly then his infidelity as per you is forgivable. One wrong cannot be corrected by another wrong, the man’s fidelity can be forgiven, if he meets all the above four points, but even if one is missing the forgiveness will never be complete, that simply mean that if you do not forgive, you will have to live with disturbed and shattered relations.
Forgiving your husband who has cheated on you is a very challenging endeavor. He has to prove to you his sincerity in order for you to rebuild trust. What if he keeps getting blocked number on his mobile phone late at night? Could it be his ex-lover is still calling him?
Having to break up with your spouse due to infidelity is a very painful experience. If you could see the tell tale signs of an affair, you would have better prepared yourself.
As a matter of fact, you can actually spy on your partner’s mobile phone to know whether he is seeing another woman behind your back using the Spybubble application. How does the program works? Click on the link below to visit the Spybubble download page and see the software in action.